No delay!

Today, my grandma just passed away.
I am sad because I didn't do what I am suppose to do.

My grandma was admitted, again. 2 days ago, before I sleep, there is a very insecure feel related to my grandma. I felt like God's telling me to go and talk with my grandma as in the insecurities was from my grandma. She haven't accept Christ yet. I feel like it's time for me to do something. The feeling was so strong.

However, I didn't act on time. Before I sleep, i was planning to go and pay her a visit on the next morning as I know my dad will go over to fetch my mum. But it it was too late, when i woke up, which was tomorrow, what i heard is the sound of car's engine. My dad just went out. So I thought it is okay to pay her a visit some other days and I denied the message that telling me that my grandma may be gone soon.

But today, she passed away. I couldn't do anything now. I had missed the chance to see her before she go. And, I had risked the chance to bring her to Christ.

I want to share this message cause I hope anyone out there who are still hesitate on doing something what you should do, stop hesitate and just act.

Do not delay God's timing. You didn't grab it, it'll just gone like that and you can never brought the chance back.

It's not hard to hear God's voice, what is more important is to obey and act.

'He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.' (Acts 1:7)

PS: I don't know what will happen to my grandma, but I hope I can still meet her in heaven. God, please don't take away her salvation because of me.

What's Your Purpose?

God's works

In the past youth leader training, i had answer to the calling. Pastor asked if there is anyone of you feel tired to serve, raise up your hand to God.

I talked to myself, 'you have no rights to say that you are tired in serving since you just started to serve.' But somehow I raise up my hand. When the pastor asked those who had raised hand to go out, I was hesitate to go out. However, pastor had saw me raised up my hand, so I go out. I really feel awkward to face my brothers and sisters. Especially those who had serve for really long time and those who had done a lot. Cause for me I see that myself should be the last one to say that I am tired.

However, I am thankful for this had happened to me. Although I left quite fast after the service and had my mind all messed up for some time, I had finally understand God's grace and love to me. His had never failed me. I know it's God who bring me out in front of the alter. He wants me to face Him and be an obedient child of His.

This was what pastor prayed when he lied hand on me. 'You are very dried out inside. Serving is not about your abilities. You need have more desire to God. After today, your serving will no longer be the same.'

And yeah, some chemistry did happened inside my heart. I had been feeling that I am lost and I am just doing everything by myself. Yeah, all by myself. That's why I feel really hard to break through and I don't feel free and smooth inside. My spiritual life graph goes up and down and up and down. I realized that this should not be a life for someone who had been saved and who claimed that our God is had overcame the world.

Thanks God that he bring me out, He helps me realize how terrible my spiritual life is. After I understand His will, I learnt how to let go. Even I always say that, but I always feel incapable to do that. But now, i am learning to let go more and more. Because I know it should not be my effort to let go, but my decision to let God take charges.

God is amazing and creative. Nothing can limit Him, but when we fit Him in our limitation, we had said no to His guidance. Let Him guide us everyday. Let Him take care of everything. We will never know what's coming up next, we can never know God's amazing plan.

I know God will use me one day, but not until I obey Him and totally relied on Him.

Ran Away~

I can run away from Him. But no matter how I run away, I know one day I will still realize that I still need to get back to Him~ Despite of the failure in life, failure in relationship, failure in things I pursue; He still is the centre of life~ As spring of life comes from His throne~

Freedom

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)

There is a short film that I came across that is in nice quality and bringing out great message. It's here, The Freedom Project.

Set Down Burdens and Have Faith in God

Travelling light means trusting God with the burdens you were never intended to bear. My largest burden is my discontentment and I am too self-centered. 

I want to thanks my brother Andy for pointing out my flaws, that I realized that I am too self-centered. These had became a wall that I built in myself and make me couldn't trust and open-up, sometime even to God.

I care too much on how people think of me, how I feel, how to get what I want, all I think is about myself, only. I could barely care about others. Even sometime when I help people, I am not sincere enough, I still care on how others say about me. I care about my performances. Not with my pure heart. How selfish I can be. 

As my brother Andy said, I was talking too much about 'ME', like it's always 'ME' that matter. This really sounds the alarm in my mind. I started to think and realize that is what I am doing, and it is not right. This not only kill my loves and cares toward others, but also hinder myself from God's helping hands. No wonder I feel so empty inside.

I really need to set down my luggage of discontent and self-centered and let God be God in my life. For the sake of people I love and people who love me. And for God sake. How can He use me when I am exhausted? How can i lift someone else's load if my arms are full with mine?

Thanks God letting me understand this before it's too late. As the bible says, “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:29-31)

As a christian, what I should to is to love God and love others. No longer being discontent and self-centered. God help me to have more faith and know He is God. 

P.S. There are certain weights in life you simply cannot carry. God is asking you to set them down and trust Him.

God Did Hear Prayers

I was alone last night at a bus station. My emotion haunted me quite a lot recently during nights, especially while i am in bus station. Same thing happened last night, but this time i prayed to God, asking Him to help me to overcome these for i am so fed up of this thing.

I am more like a passive person, so normally i won't simply drop messages to my friends. It's not in my gene. Somehow, I got this idea last night, to text me friends. So i sent out messages to my bro and sis...

They all replied, and all the messages made my night and help me get through the one hour plus waiting time. Because of they are lively people, they brought colours to my night.

The most important thing is, i found that my emotion didn't come back again last night.

This make me realize that sometime we just need to pray. Just a single phrase as simple as 'God, help me get through this.' Then things will started to change in His way. And, our God is a creative God. We, ourselves must also jump out from the zone we usually stay in. Let God lead us just as simple as that.

Sometime is not that God doesn't hear our prayers, but faith without act is dead. We have to follow Him and act as He lead, by faith. Then, sure we can experience something different.

Also, I thanked Him for bringing me so many beautiful people in my life. ^^

When you Believe, there are...

Awesome

Our God is an AWESOME GOD!
Everyday I want to praise Him!

He is so Awesome!